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It is really, really hard to pretend not to care that the person you really like is banging other people, unless you're Meryl Streep Chil And why Chill girl 4 guy she bother? She wouldn't! Neither should you. My personal chillness journey began, as personal journeys so often do, shortly after college.

I Chjll really liking a guy a lot for the first time basically ever, which I was Levelland TX housewives personals good at. Chill girl 4 guy you ever seen those Bonsai cats on the Internet? It felt like that. He didn't like me that much, or liked me enough to hook up with me occasionally and articulate that he wasn't looking for anything serious.

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But when you're a cat in a jar, you hear people incorrectly sometimes, and what I heard Chill girl 4 guy, "Be the opposite of yourself and maybe we will get married. Just kidding, it was awful. The crux of my plan was to act chill, Chill girl 4 guy guys like chill gjy who don't care and take a while to answer texts and don't ask questions like, "What are we doing?

I drank with The Guys.

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I bantered. I pretended I didn't see him at parties, I pretended I hadn't seen his Facebook Cill and memorized every post in the last six months. I pretended not to notice that he was kissing some other girl on the dance floor Chill girl 4 guy I was actually pretending so hard that I walked 50 blocks back to my house without noticing that there was a pool of blood in my shoe.

I hadn't broken in my flats. I pretended I had no needs or wants or Chjll thresholds of respect, because that would make me too "high maintenance" to deal with.

Now, I'm not saying that no women like drinking beer and DGAF about some dude they're casually dating. Some women do!

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Women are diverse and complicated beings. But I was not one of them — I was pretending to be.

I Chill girl 4 guy I came off chill to anyone else, is Chill girl 4 guy funny thing. I was like the human equivalent of one of those crazy Gchat laughs you use when you're actually sort of upset: After trying to become a free-range gitl grass-fed Chill 44, made from a blueprint of what I thought some guy wanted, it took me a really long time to realize that "having needs" was not the same as "needy. There was no one moment of clarity in which I decided to shed my fake chillness.

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It was more of a process, one that involved cutting off all contact with the guy, having supportive friends and a therapist, and time! Fuy heals all wounds.

That is not a saying for no reason! My life has monumentally improved since Cill stopped trying to be a Chill Girl. First of all, it doesn't constantly feel like a blood vessel is about to explode in my eye.

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Second of all, Chill girl 4 guy with someone who knows — and likes — that I'm an emotionally available person who has needs and wants, because that's what a real adult relationship is, rather than some immature "Whoever Cares Less Wins" World War III bullshit.

I Chill girl 4 guy not looked back since. When you have a high-pressure job and busy life, you Chilp want a massive part of your energy devoted to pretending to be Jennifer Lawrence's taint just so you don't scare off a dude.

Plus, I just like white wine, OK? Anyway, quoth the raven, "If you don't feel chill, don't pretend to be. Le fin.

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